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Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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thotess: “IG : Fairessa ”
thotess

IG : Fairessa

Source: lilmartinimami

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thinspoblackcoffee

i’ve lost 40 lbs (18 kg)

cavacavient cavacavient

and y’all? it’s great. i’ve never felt lighter.

  • i can’t stop feeling the bones in my wrist. sometimes i spend entire class periods just watching the way they move underneath my skin.
  • sometimes i pass a mirror and stop to stare at my newly exposed collar bones, the defined balls of my shoulders
  • another thing: i never thought i would see my shoulders getting thinner! my entire upper body just feels smaller. do you know what happens now, when i get into crowded elevators? i’m not nervous about taking up too much space. it’s freeing.
  • i sleep on my side, but now i have to put a pillow between my legs to keep my knees from knocking together.
  • i ran my first full mile since elementary school this monday (9/11). i ain’t done that shit since i was 12. i’m not embarrassed to go to the gym anymore.
  • everything is loose on me. i have to tuck my shirts into the fashionable belt i bought just to keep my pants up. i wrap flannels around my waist to define my new, hourglass figure. i have to be constantly vigilant of rings slipping off my fingers. i wear baggy t-shirts that slip off my shoulder to show necklaces that pool in my collar bones.
  • my eyes look bigger in my face. my lips look fuller. my cheeks are slimmer.
  • BRAS FIT BETTER. no more boob spillage. no more underarm fat. no more straps digging into my shoulders.
  • do you know how much more flexible i am? when i started my journey i couldn’t even touch my toes. now i can fall into a full splits.
  • i’m more disciplined in other areas of my life now that i have more control over my food intake. i sit down and study. i finish assignments days before they’re due. i wash my face every night because i know what will happen if i don’t.
  • when i lie in bed, i can cup my hipbones and trace my ribs and think finally.

i’m nowhere near where i want to be, but it’s so strange and so gratifying to notice the progress i’ve made. it’s makes me so much more excited to see how much better i’ll feel when i reach my goal weight. don’t be afraid to step back and admire how far you’ve come! it will only motivate you to go even further.

skinnyroach

My do’s and dont’s when i want to binge

wanna-be-skinny-again

DO

+ do my hair

+ take a shower or bath

+ chug a water bottle

+ do my eyebrows

+ look at thinspo then look at myself

+ read meanspo

+ think about how excited i’ll be when i lose all the weight

+do a small work out

+ clean my house!! ( this is a big one that really helps and it burns calories )

+ have sex with my bf ( also burns calories and makes you tired )

+ take a nap

+ organize my closet 

+ shop on ebay ( i like to shop for things like phone cases because they’re under $1 and theres sooo many so its time consuming to pick )

+ * if you live at home* ask to help with any chores

+ fake tan ( also makes you feel good about your body ) 

+ make lists ( about anything, things you want or want to do, randoms things like your favourite places to shop ect ) it’ll keep you busy 

+ if all else fails i’ll go to cleaning, i make sure every room is spotless, i break a sweat, takes hours and i wont even think about food or feel hungry. 

DONT

- watch tv or netflix ( im doing nothing and im bored so i eat 

- chew gum ( it makes you even more hungry ) 

- drink anything but water! this is a biggie for me, juice will make me crave food thats sweet )

- “just a nibble” a nibble turns into a bite, then 2 then a plate. HAVE SOME WILL POWER 

- think negative. “whats the point, im still fat” NONONONO

- sit on my phone ( again it makes you bored and you’ll want to snack ) 

- stay up later than 10pm ( im sooooo hungry at night, its my worst enemy ) 

Source: wanna-be-skinny-again
lost-wintergirl

“Do it so the boys notice.”

fuck-thinner-eat-dinner

Yesterday, my boyfriend and best friend of four years broke up with me because he cannot stand to watch me destroy myself and abuse my body any longer.  The man who wanted to marry me weathered four years of crying, fighting, and apologies.  He held me when I cried, held my hair while I purged, held my hand while I writhed on the ground from the pain of laxative abuse, held himself together while I binged and starved and fainted and struggled.  There is nothing left between us but sadness over things that cannot change.  My sickness beat the shit out of both of us.

An eating disorder won’t just make boys notice you.  It will make them run from you to save themselves in whatever way they can, because you reek of death and poison.  It will terrify, enrage, and bring them to their knees.  It will inflict the heaviest despair and evoke the sharpest pain they have ever experienced as it desecrates what was once a beautiful, perfect relationship.

My boyfriend was attracted to my laughter, not my ribcage.  He cherished my smile, not my trembling hands and brittle hair.  He loved me because I was Emily, not because I was sick, and don’t you dare try and tell me that the boy you want to notice you would be any different.

lost-wintergirl

I partially blame my ed for ending my relationship too. I GAINED 60 pounds during our relationship. He didn’t care. He cared when I stopped eating. He hated it every time I purged. Yeah I lost some weight but I was making him miserable. If a person tells you to lose weight for them, then honey move on. If someone really loves you they won’t give a damn about your weight. All you’re going to do is hurt them and push them away.

Source: fuck-thinner-eat-dinner
lilmisspiggi-deactivated2018051
mustbepetite mustbepetite

Dear porn blogs,

This is a message to every porn blog interacting with my blog: I don’t have anything against porn blogs but stay away from my blog, I do not want you to reblog/comment on/like ANY of my photos, especially my body checks. It is not okay to fetishise an illness and it never will be. Don’t tell me you “find them sexy” or “just like their figure” because it is never okay, got it? If you ignore this and go ahead anyway, you will be blocked. So just make it easier for both of us and STAY THE FUCK AWAY.

lilmisspiggi lilmisspiggi

Also I’m underage soooo unless you tryna join the subway dude I suggest you kindly fuck off 😊

ellewillbeskinny

Day 3 of Water Fast!

ellewillbeskinny ellewillbeskinny

I’m a looooooot better than where I was last time during my fast! I don’t know why this is so easy for me right now but honestly not complaining. My mom left without a hitch even though I just hate throwing out food (made one of my favorite breakfast: a cup of strawberries cut up, with maple & brown sugar oatmeal and green tea. Can’t wait to be slim and eat that wow). I started getting light headed, but I’ve been packing to go home so the up and down finally made me a little faint, which is to be expected.

I’m getting a lot of peer reviews for my paper now, so that’s almost done and once it is, all I have to focus on is this fast and having a great freaking summer!!

Weighed myself this morning through some stomach pain (not from fasting) and I was so distracted by trying to stop my stomach from hurting that I wasn’t even excited when I saw the weigh in!

SW: 175.8 lbs
CW: 166.8 lbs
GW: 145 lbs

I’m down 9 lbs!!! Most of this had got to be water and waste, but still happy as hell!!

I extended the fast to at least 21 day because I like the rewards that brings, but since I’m 3 days in I have 18 more days left and I feel like I can DEFINITELY get to 145 in those 18 days, that’s a little over 21 pounds and I usually lose a pound a day by RESTRICTING so hopefully this all works out!!

Wow i’m feeling good right now!!

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